I believe in a lifelong marriage. Let me be a little more specific of what I write about in this blog. I do not want marriages that are just marriages for the sake of your kids, for looking good or for doing what others think is right. I am sharing about being in a fulfilling marriage because two people are committed to a lifelong love. A love affair in such away that you are doing what is right for you, not because it is right for someone else.
Marriage is difficult enough without having to try to make it happen for someone else. Marriage has been put into question, challenged and taught that it is not necessary in relationship. When trouble hits divorce is often a first choice verses a last resort. Celebrities get married in a big fan fare and divorced with even more media. Marriage for media attention not for love. Publicity stunts verses commitment to a long term relationship.
I am an everyday normal wife and mother. I do not have a manager, publicist or spin agent for the mistakes that I make. I work hard at being a great wife to my husband and I expect for my husband to work equally as hard to be the best husband he can be for me.
Our kids have attempted to play us when they wanted something. Asking me even after dad said no. We had to come together as a couple to put a stop to that action with four children. Children can try to work their way into a marriage and get in so deep that we forget that the marriage is in place for the children not because of the children. Marriage helps to teach children about love, commitment, values and solutions for difficult challenges they face.
When we look deeper into marriage we can see that there are a lot of valuable lessons that can be learned by being committed to a fulfilling marriage. To often we are asked to be divided instead of coming together.
Learning how to communicate with each other so that we each know what the other will tell our children. Clear communication with your spouse will help set boundaries around your marriage. It helps to keep others out of your marriage that are not meant to be there.
Learn what each of you stand for. What are the values you have personally? Does your spouse have the same values or can you both work with your differences? If you can not work with the differences then you will have to agree to disagree and find ways to commit around your differences. Teaching others how to do this is your mission in tolerance.
In order to have the right marriage for you, you must know what the right marriage looks like.
- What do you want in your marriage?
- How do you want your marriage to look to your family and to those outside of your family?
- What are the values you want in your marriage? If you do not have those yet, then how will you get them?
- What are your moral and do you stand for them in your marriage?
- What does your spouse want in your marriage? How do you know?
- How can you communicate better with your spouse?
- What do you do when you both get into an argument that still honors the marriage?
Be the right person so you can have the right marriage for you!